I know it’s hard, this standing next to the one you love, despite their behavior, despite no reciprocation of your affections. They have gone a different way, and your heart is heavy. You look back, wanting to discern when the turn came when you pulled away from one another. You think that if you could only see it, anticipate the separation, you could work to change it. Your desire is for reconnection, reunification. You cling to hope but there are days when it doesn’t feel like enough.
You wonder where the breaking point will be—not for the relationship—but for your heart. How do you keep hoping, holding on to a dream that seems like it is dying?. You long for control, for a way to fix what is broken. You long to know the right formula, crack the code on love, on forgiveness, on joy, on trust.
I am so sorry this happened. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I am sorry for the unrest you feel, the turbulence in your soul, the questioning of your worth, your ache for a relationship that builds in strength. Not one that falls, no matter what you do, apart.
Release the dream to me now, son, daughter. Release your dream for love. Release your expectations, your memories of the past. Release your doubts, your battle against the pain. I am for you. I have never left you. In the night, when the loneliness is sharp, in the long stretches of day when work cannot distract from the ache of your heart, I am with you, I am carrying you, I have my arm underneath you, your strength when you fear the next step.
What you need to remember is that what I see and what you see are two different things. I want you to see the more I see for you. I want you to realize the power of choosing to hope, still, despite pain, despite outcomes that feel like dead ends. I am for you. I know the pain of betrayal. I know the heartbreak that comes when trust is lost. I know what it is like to share your dreams, your deepest desires with someone and have them only pretend to love you (this was my story, with my friend). I know the pain of knowing their feelings of love were no match for yours.
And because I know this, you can count on me. Because I know this, you can trust me. Because my love for you strengthens you, energizes you, emboldens you, heals you, you can keep going. You can keep hoping. You can keep looking for the good things I have for you—expect them—and refuse to be deterred by lies that tell you any different.
What is ahead is a wide-open space of healing and rejuvenation for your soul. Do not doubt my goodness. Do not doubt my plan. Do not doubt that community and connection, restoration and adventure are ahead. Just ahead. Keep stepping. Keep looking. Keep doing the hardest thing that becomes less difficult each day you do it—keeping your heart open, looking to Me for the way.
I am the way to hope. I am the way to new life. I am the way to joy. I am the way to love. I am not holding out on you. I have not forgotten you. You are okay. You are okay. This is not all I have for you. Expect more. Dream more. Hope more. I will teach you how. You can count on Me.
Romans 15: 4-6 “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope. May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”