“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” Psalms 13:1
How long Oh, Lord? Will I wait forever?
It’s beginning to drain out of me, my trust, my faith. My insecurities pile up, my tears have been my sleeping pill. I find it hard to move on. How long Oh, Lord? When I rise up and move on again, this same area holds me back and drenches me in ache down the line, somewhere.
The same questions. People. Sympathy. Am I wrong? Am I am not doing well? Am I delaying this? I so cannot take it anymore, the turmoil of my heart can flood out and I would be too ashamed for people to see me shatter. Would you still hold me stable?
With all these questions ringing in our heads, often in a while when a triggering moment occurs, when a fight happens, when a friend has misbehaved, when efforts have been overlooked, when singleness has stayed on like decades, when barrenness remains evergreen; we loose it. We feel alone. We hide our face between the two palms of our hands. We kneel and we hold our mouths tight so that our wailing will not reach another ear. Because, all we want is God to show up. We are done with having people tell us, it’s okay; hope again.
We are waiting for Him to talk, to reveal strength for us to overcome. To quench the burning agony in our hearts. This feeling is too much and it drains us from everything heavenly.
David felt the same! King! Yet, he yearned for something that didn’t come in when He called upon God. He was made a public spectacle of mockery for lusting after Bethsheeba. He moved on, yet waiting remained.
The answer didn’t come. But David knew! The Heart of God! It’s Good! The love of this heart is astounding and beyond contain. he doesn’t deserve it! But there is no stop to it.
And He confidently, hopefully, unwaveringly, joyfully said: “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.” Psalms 13:5-6
Because His love is steadfast, no waiting is too long and no question will stay unanswered.